apuntes para mi cuaderno

i think i'm actually supposed to learn spanish this time, much to my dismay.

but anyway, i retro-blogged (journaled for the non-luddite set) my past few days' experience...let me share some snippets of comedic gold (gold, jerry! gold!):

(5/17/10)

"HE'S SPEAKING SPANISH AT ME OMG."

"I paid $3 to park for this?"

"My $3 smelled of straight ass, lending yet more credibility to my theory that dollar bills in all denominations must be considered, since they were printed, to have been run through a stripper's ass crack at least once."

"I was accosted by a homeless man. I would've offered him my hot tamales, but...I like hot tamales. a lot. I'd get into a big white van if the creepy man inside it was offering me hot tamales."

i'll put my sad sad story of being locked out of my house with no keys, no phone, and no draws on (had my dog though) up later, i gotta go get deren from the salon so she can find bus stop boy and they can fall in love.

six flags con mis hermanitos

a long-standing tradition we have is to hold a pulling contest every time we go to six flags. well, long-standing after we'd rode all the rides a million times and realized the real fun to be had was while waiting in the line near somebody fine.

but anyway, i took derek and deren to six flags for deren's 14th birthday yesterday. she's growing up so fast *tear* i remember being taller than her...once upon a time...

derek won, to my chagrin.

only by two numbers, but still, me and deren had slim pickings. everybody was too old or too young or too unattractive (even in the interest of winning, i still have--some--standards) or too fine which meant they had a girl on they arm.

i'm really starting to resent girls with boyfriends now.

i know now why deren haaaaaaated for me to talk about him...it's annoying AS HECK. every sentence out one's mouth turns into something about their significant other.

plus i was always smiling and laughing and not talking in my regular voice (they made fun of me for dayyyys after they caught me on the phone . like i'm going to talk to somebody i'm sexually attracted to the same way i talk to my brother and sister, who i want to beat more often than not? yeah, right. y'all need to gon' on some place and leave me alone) and not my usual pessimistic scowling self.

but i'ma ask someone out today. i think he digs me (who wouldn't? *conceited*), but i don't want to be rejected. but worse thing he can say is no, right? and if i ask him out, 'cause i had nothing else to do, and he says no, my plans haven't changed. so yeah, i'ma do it.

six flags was fun, anyway. me and deren rode on batman, and all of us rode the log ride--they made me ride in front and my jeans got wet--and the antique cars--deren drove--and conquistador--derek and deren went again while i drank my milkshake, which brought all the bees to my bench and they were like "gimme some of that milkshake or we'll sting you" and i was like "AWW HECK NAW" and moved. they wouldn't let me ride the sombrero or the tea cups though, and i refused to stand in line for anything really big, like titan or superman.

derek won me and deren frogs (i wanted the rasta banana soooooo bad), bought himself another airbrushed hat, and managed to win a freaking guitar. and now the vato is going to be trying to learn to play the damned thing all this summer so he can sing love ballads to the mexican girls ("quiero a tiiiiiiii, mi amor...volverrrrrrrrr..."). lucky me. if he irritates me, on god and everything, i'll cut those strings. wait. will it cut me if it's a steel string?

i took like 40 pictures, which i will try to upload on facebook (the one up there is the only one i could get to work on deren's sloooooooower-than-molasses-laptop, i'll try later.) i also made deren take my picture with scooby and scrappy (scooby molested my face and took my glasses off. he also patted my head. o.O), the green lantern (who needs to get a codpiece or sum'n, 'cause he was NOT impressive), and mr. six. deren took pictures with the joker, and then lex luthor popped up from nowhere behind me and scared me very badly.

and then i dropped deren off at studio movie grill so she could see just wright without me (-_-) with our grandmother. *big mouth bass is in the pond, over.*

and came home. *salmon is swimming back upstream, do you copy?*

what i want...

for him to love my hair and to play with my curls while they're wet.
for him to not mind my terrible singing and to appreciate my serenades.
for him to get things i can't reach off high shelves for me without calling me shorty.
to be his wifey.
to be called late at night so we could talk about everything even though we both were tired.
i want him to understand my sarcasm.
i want him to listen to my babble.
to cook for him.
to edit his papers and get rewarded with a kiss.
to have him read mine and critique them for me.
to go on long walks with no particular purpose in mind.
to have his hoodies that smell like his cologne.

to stop being a dang simp. smh.
my bad, y'all.

homie and bob marley

so we have mad boys who live on my street.
if not for my love of college-aged men, almost all of them could get it, reaaaal talk.
they all dark chocolate skinned and they all fine.
but they also are all ghetto as all get out.
and if you know me, i do not do ghetto well.
i've tried, i really have.
but my ignorance level only goes so high.
i can only speak ebonics for so long before my brain starts to hurt.
plus my mother is starting to issue demerits for slang.
and i have no money, yo.
*demerit*
i am impecunious at this current point in time.
but anyway, the two main ones are...well, i don't know their names.
me and deren named them homie ('cause he looks like a homie) and his friend is bob marley. he used to have twists, but he cut them off, but the name's stuck now.
so they stare me down every time they see me. maybe because when i first got a car (RIP MR. CAR!) i was kinda not seriously hypothetically tryna run them down...they shoulda got out the street, shoot. always wanna play the game craze that's sweeping the nation: throw the ball across the street at each other. i don't see the appeal.
when you see a civic and a be-afro'd driver coming down the road, MOVE. GET OUT THE WAY.
as deren has said, i am crazy and i will hit a kid. and not look back to see what i hit. just drive away like "was that a bump? huh."
but i finally talked to homie the other day. i wish deren had been there, 'cause we had money that they didn't know how to talk.
so i'm just like: why y'all mean mug me?
homie: huh?
me: whyyy do y'all mean mug me?
homie: you always staring.
i ain't have a rebuttal to that.
it's true.
*shamefaced*
ah well.

i can't think of a witty title.

yeah, it's early.
i woke up at 5 in the morning.
just woke up.
and i didn't sleep very well either.
the person responsible knows who is to blame.
ahem.
anyway.
i have my spanish final today. i could pass if i was a deaf mute, so no worries there.
at this rate, i think i'll get an a in forensic psych, an a in spanish, an a (i hope) in pop cultural history, a b in p.e. (don't judge me, i hated that class and attendance was the only grade) a b in ancient rome, and a c in drugs and behavior.
but yeah.
so, my crazy neighbors, 'member them?
my mother and sister gleefully told me that rent-a-tire came and repossessed the rims off their tahoe. i don't know if this is true or not, but the tahoe has mysteeeeriously vanished and been replaced by a pt cruiser.
but anyway. in days of late, young crazy's father (hereafter referred to as baby daddy crazy) moved back into the house. i've only been following the crazy saga for the past two years or so--boredom makes you nosy--so i don't really remember when baby daddy crazy lived there before. i do remember arguments.
lots of arguments.
but anyway, mother's day, i was rolling around the metroplex like a easter bunny for baby mama day, delivering good cheer and cards and flowers and whatnot to the women of my family and used up all my gas in the process. but anyway. i was taking my dad to my granny's house--they sit and gossip like teenage girls, i swear, and then they talk bad about me and deren when we talk about people like the teenage girls WE ARE--and i saw baby daddy crazy sitting on a bench faaaar away from the house looking like somebody had shanked his puppy.
i therefore concluded that baby daddy crazy had run away from home.
can't say i blame him...
later on i saw mama crazy haranguing him back to the house.
i know he has to feel like a cuckold, 'cause he ain't got a car, he has to live with her, and...they dirty. i just know they are. i have filth senses and they tingle when i see them. they tingle hard.

finals

i got...5 of them, starting saturday.
i'm stressing, yo.
luckily, i have an a in forensic psych, so i don't need to take that one.
and assuming i finish my criminal and civil briefs, and my interoffice memo, i'll have an a in intro to law. my professor told me i do beautiful work.
did i tear up?
no.
did i want to?
yes.
my mama told me that when you are on the path god has set out for you, then you don't feel sure, but you're intrinsically good at what you're doing because that's what you're supposed to do.
and i'm good at paralegal stuff.
so i guess i'll be going to law school after all.
:D
anyway.
i couldn't fail spanish if i was a deaf-mute, so an a in there.
hopefully, i'll get an a in 20th century american cultural history. i just need to do the readings, and i'll be good.
i might maybe possibly get a b in drugs and behavior. i swear to god i hate that class. solely because it's right after my p.e. class, which does not have a final. gracias a dios.
and ancient rome might be a b as well. tuesdays and thursdays were a bust after spring break, y'all.
shoot, after spring break, i was pretty much done.
anyway. i need to review...