feed me, seymour...

y'all would think that 'cause i stay at home, i'd be eating right, 3 meals a day, rightright?
NAW.
what's worse is when people come around me with food.
and, while i will mooch off you if i know you well--like a dog, swear to god. i will stare at you mournfully until i receive some of what you're eating--but i can't beg from strangers...to my chagrin. i tried to fix my mouth to ask dude in my ancient rome class for some fruit roll up (as i live and breathe, fruit roll up. it had that room smelling delicious. then he had the nerve to be tryna open it slow so he wouldn't disturb the lecture. so it was crackling and smelling better and better; finally i turnt around and was like "JUST DO IT! BEFORE I SNATCH IT FROM YOU AND EAT IT." because i get aggressive when i'm hungry.) but i couldn't do it. he probably woulda gave me some too.
eh. i don't know where he's been.
that's the one downfall to being moderately obsessive compulsive. i don't mind my room getting untidy. i clean it up err week or so, but it doesn't bother me.
what does bother me is dirty. people.
lemme break this down for you.
if you walk by, and plants are dying in your wake?
you might be dirty.
if you sitting in class, and there is nobody near you: i'm talking you sitting in the middle of the room, and errbody else (including the professor) is clinging to the walls?
you might be dirty.
if you talking to somebody, and you notice that they ducking your breath, or standing two feet from you, and when you try to move in, they maintain that two feet so that they may continue to breathe unpolluted air?
you just might be dirty.
i'm just saying.
bathing is one of my small joys in life. brushing my teeth, washing my hair, they make me happy. being clean makes me happy. why it does not give some of y'all the same pleasure, i will never know.
though i do refuse to comb my hair out. i only do it once a month. that huuurts! y'all don't understand. deren swear i got roaches in my head, and that is just one of the many reasons i 'ain't got no man.'
some of her reasons include: 1) you chew too loud. that's why you ain't got no man. 2) why your breasts always out? them men don't want them hot females that's been around the block females, you nasty girl...that's why you ain't got no man. 3) your handwriting look like chicken scratch, and that's why you ain't got no man.
all of this from a 13 year old 98-lb weakling, who, remarkably, has no man either. i tried to use this logic on her, but she shuns logic. she says logic is why i ain't got no man. *sigh*
BUT. i digress. per usual.
today my grandmother is going to pick me up, since i get off suuuper early.
and y'all know what that means...
i'ma eat!
it's sad how excited i am.
but hey.
if music be the food of love...feed the devens.