okay.

i have not posted.

yes.

i know.

shut up.

i have a life too.

a lame life.

but a life nonetheless.

midterms were ehhh.

but it's spring break now!

so.

i got a lot to talk about.

i'ma break it down thusly.

today, i'ma tell y'all what my mama told me and my siblings the other day.

so. i'd set the scene, but i don't remember all the brackets and ish i used.

we're in the car, my mama's taking me to school.

so we're talking, and i had this sparkle eyeliner on. just 'cause i like the way my eyes look with it on, okay?

and errtime i wear it, it seems like i have a meeting after class, so my mama seems to think that i have someone i'm looking "good" for. yeah. right.

so the sunlight hits my eyes (i had been trying to hide my face for this very reason, you see.) and she says, "OHHHHHHHH, you got sparkles in yo eyessssssss!"

and my brother and sister chime in that i must be tryna look good for Jaquavion an' 'nem.

he's my imaginary boyfriend, apparently. yeah. i know how to pick 'em.

so they mocking me, and i'm praying that the forbidden one does not come up in conversation, 'cause deren was getting this crazy look in her eye, the one that let's me know i'm about to get mocked.

so i swiftly turn the conversation around to...DEREK.

you see, my brother has a fondness for hispanic girls.

he's also kinda...let me be nice...sensitive.

(a.k.a. A PUSSY.)

anyway, so we're talking about him now. my mama calls him a vato, et cetera.

he tries to turn back around to me.

i ain't having it.

i say "NAW, let's talk about deren!!!"

my mama says "yeah! you got a foul stank attitude!"

and i'm kinda angry, 'cause i want her to talk about deren and some people.

but deren--wisely--does not put her business out in the streets (and no, i'm not just saying this because she's watching me type). she really doesn't. it's downright upsetting.

so she turns it back to derek, and we talk about derek until i get out the car.

my mama lets this drop:

she would not be accepting of any body we dated outside of our race.

and i'm sure that a lot of black parents are this way. "if he can't use your comb, don't bring him home" and so on. and i understand that.

but...uh...it's 2010. and i don't know if the statistics have changed, but last time i heard, it was 1 black man for every 4 black women.

....

my math skills ain't that great, but uh.

that means i only have a 25% shot at a black guy.

and why am i going to stress somebody who knows that he can have his pick of women?

loose women too. i'ma bit of a freak, but i'm mostly a prude.

so while i want a strong black man, yeah, i'm not holding my breath. especially when men of other races are sexyyyyy...*cough ivan salazar please be my baby daddy pleeeeease cough*

but my mama said that when you deny your own race, you're denying your mother.

because if you're a black dude, dating a woman of another race, it's self-hatred.

i don't feel that way at all.

what if you're shallow like i am, and dating them because they're fiiiiiine? despite their color (or lack thereof)?

but then i got out running at the stop light--she ain't e'en stop the car, y'all...