weekend adventures

so. big stuff popped off this weekend.
actually. no. no, it didn't. but i feel better saying that.
i am one of the few remaining recluses in this world. i like staying home. home is where the bed is. but i ventured out on saturday...to my paralegal class. intro to law, where the professor repeats errthing...ERRTHING...he says 3 times. it's kinda cute and kinda irritating. this is the self-same class where a kenyan guy came up to me and started talking to me in swahili. yeah. 'cause of my hair. when i gave him crazy eyes, he was like 'where are you from?' and i swiftly assured him i was from texas, and i was african-american as opposed to african-african. but yeah. i have a test due next week. i'ma fail.
so my friend (she's hispanic, and two years older than i am. she mothers me) called me on friday, and said her brother was taking classes at the same community college, and that we should hang out together. my other option was going home and going to bed (it was looking goooood), going with my family car-shopping (and my parents would be talking mess the entire time: 'yeah, we're looking for a car, 'cause she *points at me* wrecked hers.' no bueno) or hang out with my friend and go shopping.
i love my bed, but i also like to shop.
so she called me while i was waiting, and said, 'go mess wit the guy in the khaki jacket. that's my brother.'
so i go up, and i start with some mad corny line, 'i noticed you, noticing me, et cetera.'
whyyy did homie look me in my eyes all sad and confused and say "sum'n-sum'n-no entiendes ingles-sum'n-sum'n'?
you could've knocked me over wit a feather. i'm mad stuttering, tryna say sum'n in spanish. coming up wit nada. and then my friend pulls up, cackling.
so we go over her house, and they feed me chorizo con huevo y salchichas y tortillas. y un ojo? i don't know what it was but it was delicious.
and it was good.
and then we went to northpark.
northpark, for non-dallasites, is upscale. not quite the galleria, but far better than what i'm used to.
she was grumbling because she forgot her purse, and if you don't have a purse, the salespeople's eyes glide right over you. i noticed this especially, because i was the only black person rolling like 10 deep with a bunch of hispanic people. and i was talking mess the entire time.
we went in dillard's, and i swiftly got spritzed at the chanel counter. i love chance by chanel. if anyone ever wants to get in good with me, gimme some of that. i'll do (close) to whatever you want.
so we came back to her house, and they fed me pork chops (i don't know the spanish for what it was) con arroz y jugo de limon y pina. it was excellent. her grandmother was pleased with me for knowing spanish enough to make small talk. i got a hug.
then me and my friend sat in a hammock, ate chocolate chip cookies, and watched new jack city, while i explained the nuances of black culture as portrayed through film.
"you better sit your five dollar ass down before i make change..."
good times.
i got home at eleven. which is late for me.
we missed church in the morning. i felt a little bad, and then i turned over and went to sleep again.
the lord forgives.
my family established that a) i was a simpleton, and b) i cannot ever commit any kind of crime, because i would be caught almost immediately.
i have a refreshing--i think so, anyway--blend of naivety and worldliness that i attribute to my mixture of the king's english and ebonics. "my mama said speak like you got a college degree. see, i can, but i won't. plus i’m saying what i won’t, plus this slang that i speak don't change that i'm deep..." (j. cole is my new baby daddy.)
sooo, yeah. that was my weekend.
me and deren are going on the amazing race, by the way. look for us. we'll be the ones fighting the entire time.