my pearly whites

so i have to wear my retainers nonstop (except for eating) for the next month.
and just like that i am instantly transported back to ninth grade nerdery.
i will not be smiling.
or talking.
for a while.
grr.
i got my braces on in december of 2004.
i got them off in october of 2006 (i can tell you what i was wearing).
i have worn my retainers since then, maybe...a couple few times.
it's a wonder my teef ain't shift.
my mama says the first set was on her, next set on me.
and uh, i ain't got $3k to drop on my mouf.
well, i do.
but that's more for my education and what not.
(speaking of which, i have a scholarship to apply for...)
i'm mildly obsessed with brushing my teeth.
i've been known to sit around for 20 minutes just brushing.
i could go through two or three tubes of colgate (colgate is all i will use, bump that crest, aquafresh ish) just by myself in a month or so.
i own use moufwash though.
how natural does a mouf full of chemicals taste?
think on it.
get back to me.
right. exactly.
anyway.
this will probably help me in my quest on the j.j. evans diet, in any case.